What did I learn?

Wow. What a roller-coaster of a week.

After hearing from him on Wednesday, I was much more comfortable the rest of the week.  I was excited about his return on Saturday.

When Saturday arrived and we waited patiently for the bus to arrive, I kept telling myself not to get emotional. I failed miserably.

I’ve never missed anyone or anything this much. It was amazing to see my boy again. Of course, he was the same as we left him.I’m grateful for the opportunity to have my kids in my life on a daily basis and miss them when they go away. There are a lot of dad’s out there that miss their kids non-stop as they live with Mom or have been taken from them.

This struggle was more than just missing him but coming to the realization that him and his sisters are growing up. We’re not needed as much and the 5 days without any contact was a sign of the times. For the last 14 years, I’ve never felt ‘not needed’ until this past week. It sucks.

The silver-lining to all of this is how much of a great time he had. He learned a lot and no doubt, grew up a little more in the process. I guess that makes two of us.

I’m excited

Christmas 2010 006

Remember Christmas morning? That’s what it feels like for me today.  In just over 12 hours, my son will be home from camp.

I’m sure you’re sitting there reading this and asking “Is this guy still going on about his kid being away from camp?”. Damn right I am. If that makes me a softy, that’s perfectly fine with me.

This has been such a heartbreaking and sad week while also being an amazing experience for him and a fantastic learning experience for me. I have learned more about myself and my son in the last 4 days that I have in the last year.

Earlier in the week when I was in pre-meltdown mode, I wouldn’t even dare step downstairs near his bedroom. Having him away without contact was truly felt like a loss. Today, after a couple days of contact and anticipation of his arrival, I went down to his room, fixed his door like I said I would and played on his PS4 for good measure. I had to make sure it worked when he got home, right? 🙂

Having battled through the emotions of the week, we’re already taking about him going away next year and hopefully, his sisters will join him. I’m confident that I will handle the absence better next time…but I can never be too sure.